I was talking with a friend of mine, we'll call her "Beth" for the sake of argument, and she doesn't raise her child by the typical norm that seems to have taken over traditional parenting so she has opened my eyes to ways that still potentially work, but also ways that society says don't work.
This gives me the reason to further examine what is the right way. Everything from vaccination, nursing, socialization, public vs private schools, home schooling, (a new term to me) unschooling, arts, and sports. Fortunately, a parent can give a child any opportunity possible, if done properly and if an ample amount of time is put towards these opportunities, but such is parenting.
We'll start from the beginning, the choice of actually having a child. I have been fortunate enough to be enlisted in one of the biggest underground fraternities of all time, athletics. It has been a focal point of my life, a title, what many will consider "me," although, if you talk to most athletes, this is a rather shallow perspective. There is much more to an athlete besides what he does on the field, the arena. But, the media and society puts these people on a pedestal. For us, it is what we desire. The art of competition, the adrenaline rush, the succeed vs fail, the glory vs misery... All of the qualities of sports simply pertain to our hobby, our passion, but not our lives.
So after that tangent, the original point, the decision to have a child. Through sports, I have been surrounded by guys that are faced with all the same decisions at home. The best part is that we all want to learn, we all want to learn from those with experience, and in our "fraternity" we can make educated decisions. As far as I have learned, the right time to have a kid is not when "two people are in love" but rather when the timing is right, for both of you. I don't think that age has much bearing because I have seen 20 year olds get by and become great parents, I have also seen 40 year olds as shitty parents. Timing for me, is when you have done what your heart desired, from traveling, to experiences, to adequate finances. When these are all in line, the decision is simple, because for the next 18 years, you're sole purpose should be your child, so if you can block off the next 18 years of your life, the timing is pretty close to right on.
Then comes the child and your life is immediately changed. You have successfully completed every living being's sole purpose, reproduction, and then, despite every book ever written or every parent giving advice, it is your turn to do what is right, for your child, not for professional advice givers and backseat drivers. Everything that can shape your child's personality, advantages, way of life, is up to you.
So now that you have felt the timing was right and pulled the trigger on making new life, the real decisions, for the sake of your child are still to come...
Thanks to Beth, like I said, my eyes have been open to alternate methods, not necessarily better or worse, just different. One of the first things we talked about was vaccination. She chose to not have her child vaccinated. I had never even heard of this being a possibility. I was vaccinated, my brother was, my parents (I think) were, everyone I know was. What you don't know is how safe these actually are. It is the simple ideal of cause and effect. While you may be preventing an obviously destructive disease/virus, there is reason to believe you are causing other damages to your child unknowingly. Case in point, while you are getting one of the multiple shots for your child due to "a baby's immune system not being strong enough yet to fight off something of this magnitude on its own," the underlying effects of this injection are slowly and potentially just as debilitating. For argument purposes, here is something to think about; 1 vaccination shot for an 8 pound relative newborn has the equivalent toxicity of 30 consecutive doses in a 180 pound full grown man.
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| Simon Birch was vaccinated... just kidding, that was a bad joke |
Then there are multiple studies showing the links between autism and mercury poisoning. I'll just post a link to give you an idea of what I am talking about...
http://www.tetrahedron.org/articles/vaccine_awareness/children_mercury.html
or if you want to get real aggressive with your reading...
http://www.vaccinationnews.com/dailynews/july2001/autismuniquemercpoison.htm
When I asked Beth about her child, whether she gets sick at all etc., she said that despite no vaccinations at all, her child is almost never sick, perhaps a simple cold every now and then, but nothing to the extent of the threats perceived by most parents if their child is not immunized. For me, my idea is, what is the difference if I get the virus on my own or if someone injects it into me... I'll roll the dice and try to not get it at all. I am a bit too old to decide whether I want a childhood vaccine now but the next best thing for me is deciding whether I want my annual flu shot; why would I put the flu into my body to prevent the flu?
Once again, I am not a parent, or a conspiracy theorist for that matter, so I don't have to make this decision yet but it just gave me a different perspective.
Then comes the decision of whether to nurse or not, and for how long to do it if you make the decision that nursing is best. Many companies have come up with certain formulas that apparently mimic the natural milk of the mother. The problem I see, is that is not the maternal mother's milk. For the most part, I think that mothers will nurse. I think that a mother feels it helps with the natural bonding process of a woman and child, which I certainly agree with. I don't think that I am going to be breastfeeding any time soon but I do understand the body, and I do understand that going back to the beginning of time, when a woman goes through the pregnancy period, that her body changes in a million ways for preparation for the child, and that these changes are for the success of a healthy childbirth and post childbirth period, for the child. So, when someone comes up with a formula to mimic that of a nursing mother, there is no way that you can tell me it is the same design that a woman's body has been preparing for the last 9 months. All of this, I understand as well, begins with the original point of timing. If you are not willing or prepared for the natural mothering process, then the timing is not right. As far as the length of time at which a mother should nurse, the only feasible answer I can come up with, is how long the body allows. Once again, with an unfamiliarity to this process, I don't know if it goes on for potentially 10 years, but I have known for this process to go for at least 2 to 3 years, at which point, maybe it's time to move on. Point being, the body is a very powerful thing, and I believe that listening to it might be the best bet.
I gotta run but I'll post more later, thanks for reading!
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